naked santas

When the incompetent Lieutenant Frank Drebin seeks the ruthless killer of his partner, he stumbles upon an attempt to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II.

Martians fear their children have become lazy and joyless due to their newfound obsession with Earth TV shows. After ancient Martian leader Chochem suggests that the children of Mars need more fun—including their own Santa Claus—supreme leader Lord Kimar assembles an expedition to Earth. Once there, they kidnap two children who lead them to the North Pole, then capture the real Santa Claus, taking all three back to Mars in an attempt to bring the Martian children happiness.

The children of Mars are in a funk, and nothing on the red planet seems to be able to cheer them up. Martian King Kimar comes up with the only reasonable solution: kidnap Santa Claus from Earth's North Pole and bring him to their planet to make toys for their joyless, listless little green kids. Meanwhile, two Earth children get wise to the plan and are abducted along with Santa to prevent them from talking to the authorities. Luckily for them, Dropo, the Jerry Lewis of the fourth planet from the sun, is there to help them. The fiendish plot doesn't go according to plan, and there's plenty of intrigue, double-crossing, mistaken identity and stock footage for kids of all ages and planets to enjoy. Poorly conceived, sloppily made, and unfailingly bizarre, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" is the ultimate Christmas movie-riffing classic (as fans of MST3K know) which is why Cinematic Titanic chose to revisit, re-riff, and release this holiday hamfest with all new jokes. Merry Crap-mas!

You'd better watch out - Santa Claus Willie T. Soke is coming to town and he doesn't care if you've been naughty or nice. Wille's favorite holiday tradition is to fill his sacks with loot lifted from shopping malls across the country. But this year his plot gets derailed by a wisecracking store detective, a sexy bartender, and a kid who's convinced Willie is the real Santa Claus.

Fueled by cheap whiskey, greed and hatred, Willie Soke teams up with his angry little sidekick, Marcus, to knock off a Chicago charity on Christmas Eve. Along for the ride is chubby and cheery Thurman Merman, a 250-pound ray of sunshine who brings out Willie's sliver of humanity. Issues arise when the pair are joined by Willie's horror story of a mother, who raises the bar for the gang's ambitions, while somehow lowering the standards of criminal behavior.

A great Christmas gift. Unwrap the gift that undresses itself.

How to have a merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from Private, the elves, and Dirty Santa – if all your holidays were like this, you’d never stop celebrating! Santa’s sexiest helpers have gotten together to answer the Christmas wishes of all the grownup boys and girls who want a lot of fucking and sucking to keep them warm during the cold winter months. Doris, Helena Sweet, Jasmine, Jasmine Rouge, Lara Lamour, Lucy Belle and Stella Delcroix know exactly how to make a man forget about the snow and ice by treating him to warm mouths, pussies and asses, and they keep the heat going for two and a half hours, with four great group sex scenes featuring anal and double penetrations, not to mention an onstage boy/girl exhibitionist’s dream fuck!

For fans wishing to find their stocking stuffed with porn, top director Jonni Darkko has a gift: In Santa's XXX Sluts, lusty ladies come down chimneys bringing festive holiday filth!

It was the night Santa was to arrive and all the twinks of SpankThis were ready. Some were naughty and needed to be punished, while others were nice and wanted Santa's firm hand on their bare ass regardless. Watch as Santa pleases and teases Tommy Anders, Tyler Berke, Jason Andrews and Dustin Reeves.